Friday, August 31

Day 31: Letter To My Ex.

Dear almost lover,

This is the last letter I will ever write for you. The day has finally come when I can keep your memories in boxes in the attic, sweep thoughts of you under the carpet, and burn my black secrets to ashes. I wished for the existence of such an unbelievably surreal soul, that would sweep me off my feet, take me above the whites of the ninth cloud. I have realized I do not need a magical entity in my life because all it does is trap me in an illusion. I feel blinded by a sympathy and love isn't supposed to cloud our minds with fears and insecurities. You made me feel so unimportant, so objectified; I'm no less of a person I deserve to be treated like. I don't hate you, you are just insignificant. An unbelievably wonderfully beautiful reality has found me now and I believe we will be happy together. There are moments of sadness sometimes, but they are just the hollow flashbacks of your insincerity. The important thing is: we will live. Together. We'll need our rest, as tomorrow ushers a halo of happy moments that would sweep us off our feet all-together.

So goodbye, so long. I wish you luck in your solitary existence.

-Your could have been luck.


Screw everything 
and everyone else. 
I will fucking write.




P.S. This is an extract from chapter five of our book 23 Memories. Still writing.

Saturday, August 25

Day 25: How We Started Dating.


We started off as 'not like every other couple' when we started going out together seven months before. We had never seen each, nor talked to each other or known each other other in person. There is not pretty much I'd like to discuss about our lives in public but, there is something I WANT to share. We have had crushes before, well many of them. The only way to find out if it was more than that was to go with the stream of emotions and series of circumstances life was leading us into. The emotions intensified and we grew fonder. The common things that we shared, be it a fragrance or an artist, made each other intriguing. Slowly and steadily we reciprocated; got to know how entirely contrasting our personas were. This didn't in anyway change the minds we had set for each other. They say when you find your soul-mate, you just click. We clicked. We hadn't shared our little secret with the best of our mates, like every-time we did before. Maybe, because we weren't sure. We wanted to know, we wanted to explore. Believe me, when I say 'in a moment everything changed'. Neither one of us knows, when the 'i-more-than-like-you' changed to 'i-love-you'. Not many could accept this change, they made me re-think, they made me question myself, if this was true, and if it was going to last. I knew we were exclusive. I do not know what love means to you; to me it means feeling good about the kind of person you are and being around that person who makes you feel better about the same. To me love is platonic and unconditional, more than romantic. So, I love you, you and even you there.

"I know him in a way, you will never do. You will never understand."



I have no idea what tomorrow holds, neither do you. So don't question someone. All, i know and need to know is now is good.
So, let us live it.

towhosoeveritmayconcern

Thursday, August 23

Day 23: Rebirthing.

My words may not be as polished as the words of others but I write them for you nonetheless, hoping one day they touch you. I don’t think that I've ever before wished for something with so much of my being as I do now. I long for the dead of winter, when the air is moist and the breaths are visible clouds. When the trees are on the verge of graying and the birds warm up their little chicks some more. When the world seems to be teetering on its edge, it’s magical, the way that in a few months everything stiffens, dies and after it passes, it turn grows once again into vibrant life. The snow melting under frozen toes, smoke rising from the chimneys and the way the wind blows hair across reddened freckled cheeks until we can inhale new air, dewy with the droplets of the spring harbinger on softened grass. I’ll never take it for granted, this death and rebirth. You are my unconditional consciousness. The truth is, without you I'm without feeling, without matter, without perception, and without determination. Let me kiss you with my soul, to steal a sigh.

Wednesday, August 22

Day 22: Extracts From Her Diary.

"Tomorrow morning I'll be sober and you'll still be beautiful."


Say this to me. Love is so mainstream, I want a good crazy. You can measure people’s level of stupidity by how many times in their lives they have fallen in love. There are these lovers I've had and liked, but who is 'mine'? I haven't quite found the man, who'd love me like I'm the best he'll ever do and I'd like to believe I've never really been in love yet. I don’t expect him to understand me. Sometimes I don’t even know what the hell is going on in my head. I'd do some crazy, if you are, but love me, love me crazy too. For someone who is dead on the inside I certainly have a lot of emotions & shit. Lots of amazing sex & laughing is my version of living happily ever after. Of course, no one night stands, sex comes to me with intimacy. I love you. I need you. I’ll change my life your you. Where do you live?


P.S. Old write ups; probably my mind a couple of months back.

Tuesday, August 21

Day 21: Be A Vagabond.

I want to travel the world; take a ticket to a random place, and get lost somewhere. I don't desire a lavish life nor do I want to slip on designer dresses. I wish to be independent and free, buy a camera and stuff it along with a thousand rupees in a huge side sling bag, put on my slippers and set out as a wild restless soul, having no place to stay, day dreaming and following the same in the whim of the moment. I'd like to buy a second hand sedan, mold it into a convertible and color it blue. I want to climb the hills when the peaks are white and swim ad-mist the corals when the sun shines bright. I want to capture the falling snow and the oceans and seas. I'd clean the windscreens or serve at tables in a shady bar and save some coins for us in a jar. We could break it later and fill my car with gas and drive, just drive with no destination. I want to be a vagabond, with no inhibitions in mind.

Monday, August 20

Day 20: A Story Untold.

There is a story I've been wanting to tell you of a little girl in the a white dress, and a boy out of the blue. No, this isn't a fairy tale, and neither am I singing this to you. Step into the dark with fire in your heart & clarity in your soul. This thirst is purely spiritual. Life has been shaken and fate will stir. She was a damsel in distress and he was a silver lining in a dark cloud. She hid her beauty in blood stained clothes and he hid his heart in a jar of bones. Her mind became a house full of broken mirrors and her skin had engraved on it fingerprints of insane desires. His heart became a sanctuary of unsung prayers and his body a temple of unknown pleasures. The words that ripple in reality have tempted fate this time. All the hurt, the pain and the miseries brought them close. She walked up to him with flowers in her hair and love in her heart, put her lips next to his and whispered, "Put me in an unknown trance, put me into a state I cannot recognize." Beneath this thick smoke of his solidarity was silence waiting patiently. She understood more when he said nothing at all. They found love in a hopeless place.

Sunday, August 19

Day 19: Verbal Seduction

I want to write you a song that you could read and find yourself in-between the lines and stanzas or relate to in the rhyming couplets as that's what it would speak of, if only I had the coherence and skill to put my words together in such a lyrical way which would seduce your mind breaking the walls around your glasshouse heart reaching your very own vulnerability while you submerge in thoughts of my summer scent, finding way out of the temptation yet incapable of resisting my very own sultry skin and be-witchery, until i have had enough of these chasing games and i let you crash into me, just you and I, would you feel (my love) me then?

Saturday, August 18

Day 18: My Space Boy.

We travel on the spiraling roads of the Milky Way and dip our hands in the cool black waters of the universe trying to catch the stars in our hands and blow them in each other’s faces while our childish laughter rings out in our hollow chambers. The first star of all this milky constellation, far lovelier than any nymph of wood in the furthest corner of the rain forest. My heart would never push you away. It would fold you deep in its craters where nothing can harm you and together we will rule the tides to kiss the shore it dearly loves until the shore learns to love it back and embrace it with its warm arms. My dim cooling light in the twilight will light your way until you find yourself following my footprints slipping into a hole of ecstasy. Oh, my Space Boy, what a wonderful journey in the space, since I've been free falling with you. Oh, my Space Boy, how I wish my Stellar Soul would never wake up from this celestial dream.

Friday, August 17

Day 17 : Avoid Some People.


Forgiveness might be a virtue, but only when done right. Is it utterly important that we learn to forgive 'everyone' who has wronged us? Accept apologies, only when a person wants to change. Anyone can say sorry, what matters is what they do to make it better. Some people have too much ego to ever bend down. They are going to repeat the same anyway. Its easier to forget than forgive. Believe me, ignorance is a bliss. You must not be nothing short of happy.



NoteToSelf: You think I care. Who were you anyway!

Thursday, August 16

Day 16: The Grass Is Greener On Your Side.

source: tumblr

Every person you meet is just looking for their story, like your are. You might now go ahead and say, no I'm looking for love, for peace of mind, for relationships, for making someone's living better. Alright, but isn't that a part of the story too? The story which someone has been writing for all of us. There you go, you are free to be opinionated. A lot of you might not believe in destiny or God's way of making checklists and action plans. Count me in that too. In my opinion, there is no fate, fate is what we do, what we decide; but there is serendipity. Serendipity is such a wonderful thing, if you don't know it already by now. 

Everybody is waiting for serendipity to happen to them, but all of us lack the most important ingredient- patience(this works like Chemical X for the whole scene). Every person wants to write their own story, some take chances, while some wait, but in all this chaos you form a part of their story. There are no exceptions to this. You will have to accept that every happy deed is an act of selfishness for someone, you just need to make sure, you're on the brighter side. Your call. Every second you spend with the wrong person, is a second wasted in reaching love. Stop compromising. A brand new ignorance is better than sympathy love. So, are you on the side where the grass in greener?

Day 15: A Thousand Desires Each.


I want to write
but all I can think of
are threads of
unfulfilled desires
crisscrossing across
the walls
of my brain
making a disarray of knots
however, I simply cannot 
see the knot
well enough
to untangle it.

Wednesday, August 15

Day 14: Wedding Bells.

Let me tell you something outright, for a very long period in my life I've been an anti- marriage person. Don't ask me why! We've gotta discuss and share some better things, things like, how a wedding vow gets me so very awed. That might sound like a cliche, but you have just the little bit of idea about me stranger. "To hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." You sure have heard this one.

source: tumblr
wish #23

I want to have the most awesome-st proposal ever. I'll am going with the one I love, it hardly matters if I get married or not, but hey, I'm a girl and I'm amazing and just like you I want a grand proposal- one which the world knows about. Sometimes I get hopelessly romantic and cheesy, but we all deserve to have the time of our lives.


Every girl has thought of her moment of lifetime. So, how would you want it? 

Tuesday, August 14

Day 13: My Legs Are More Than Nice.

Well, when the rest of the world is talking of women empowerment I'm talking of legs. Yes, you got it right. Being a woman in a man's world is tough. You need to be worried if your legs are in great shape, that if your chocolates and cakes are doing good to them, you need to get waxed, get your toes manicured. So much pain for the walking pair. A bucket full of joy when you jump and play in the muddy puddles, a memory when you leave foot prints on the sand at the beach, a sense of freedom when you move to the music while you dance or just swaying them along sitting with your friends at the college walls. If you are a woman, it is all about your legs honey- you either spread them or you stand up strong for what you believe in and go stomping on everyone who comes your way.

Cheers! Happy Feet.

Monday, August 13

Day 12: Today Is Happy.

Its totally two months to my birthday, and I'm making my plans already. The color of 'the dress', things I'm going to do, making my birthday wish list. Gosh, i don't know if its true for every girl out there, but am shupeerdupeertrooper excited. "Okay, phew don't scare them." Calm the fuck down. Today  he has been happy flirting with me the whole day, I feel so loved and beautiful, more than before. Its great to be loved and to be in love. *touch wood*

Lose yourself to Love. Trust Me. Trust Yourself.

I made myself happy today again. Well, you can do that too. Go buy yourself some chocolate. Yes, like right when you wake up. This is so random and crazy, but hey I am just happy.

P.S. I'm making a mini aqua. Will keep you little monsters updated.

Love.

*eats chocolate like a boss* (DARK CHOCOLATE)

Sunday, August 12

Day 11: Share a word.

"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing."


One of the most beautiful things I came across in the internet today, had to share it with you. Share some of your favorites with me here. <3


source: somewhere on tumblr

Day 10: A lot like me.


image: tumblr
Sometimes sitting idle, just somewhere on your bed, munching on popcorn while watching your favorite flick, or crossing the road carefully in between vehicles gushing past you, staring into the starry sky or watching the rain drops fall into small muddy puddles, have you felt that maybe somewhere in a world just like ours, there might be someone feeling exactly the same as you do at that very moment, someone thinking of someone like you right then, that if you existed.

Well, if there is someone somewhere thinking about someone like them (which is also quite like me) here is a 'Hello'. I know you are there, know that I'm here too. 

Thursday, August 9

Day 9: Sometimes I Fall Apart.


Have you ever had this feeling when everything seems so perfect in your life on the outside, but you are not happy within.You feel as if everything in your life is finally getting better, but then suddenly at one clock second everything starts falling apart.What do you do then? Run away. Who do you run to? Your almost lover? But for how long?
When you know that someone loves you without knowing why or beyond any doubts or pride. You should be happy right? What is still occupying the mind? What's still driving you insane? What if it's something else. What if things aren't working how you should? Life doesn't just revolve around love, there is so much more to it. And I see, these people who should be content, who should be happy running after a love in life. And what about me, when I have that one thing that everyone else needs, but something else in my life is not okay, not alright. Sometimes I just want to runaway. From everything, beyond anyone's reach. Will they ever try to find me? Will they still keep fighting? Will things change?

Maybe if I died.

iamsorryfornegativitybutamhumantoo.

Day 8: Blissful Ignorance.

I don't love you like a plant loves its little buds
That will grow up to be a ripe fruit someday
I don't love you like rich women love diamonds
That shine in the glam and glitter of elite parties

I love you like I should love a certain darkness
Where I'd run to and hide when i have no place
I love you without knowing why I was with you
At first place, that very day of blissful ignorance


P.S. I've been writing my next chapter for the book, so there are these little posts and poems from some days. I'll write a post on a deeper note tomorrow. Did I tell you requests, or questions will be replied. :) Leave me in comments or the shout box. I'll reply in the posts.

Love.

Wednesday, August 8

Day 7: You Are Me

You are me, and I am you. 

We are a soul wrapped up in two mortal bodies with a bright gray ribbon on it. I'll loose myself to you, or you loose you to me. Its still you in the me, or, its still ..


me.

Monday, August 6

Day 6: Some Words To Say


I could never love someone so much that I'd stand by and let them disrespect and hurt me. But maybe that was just me. The answer you've been looking for exists within yourself. In the silence between my lifetime I found love. Funny how words can be confusing but a good soul shines through. You are certainly wrapped up in a delightfully beautiful package, but, it's the intangible things that I love. I loved you before I saw you hiding between the rays of light and a shade of darkness.. These words are so familiar, they are as familiar as the air that I breathe. 

Day 5: Remind Yourself- You're beautiful.

I get this a lot from people around me. I feel more than glad when people consider me worthy and look up to me as someone who they can share their deepest thoughts with. Sometimes the hardest decision is to decide whether to give up or to fight harder. We all need to feel wanted, loved, adored. If you feel that your love is slipping away, do everything in your power to convince them to stay. Always fight with everything you have to get what you want Just use tact, respect, compassion and kindness NOTHING is out of reach. But then sometimes, all the efforts you put into it, might go in vain. Don't worry it's jut their loss and your gain. You will become stronger, you will learn a lot and find someone new again. Love never leaves people like us. Always remember, look in the mirror and remind yourself that you're beautiful.

Saturday, August 4

Day 4: I am a canvas.

I am just a blank canvas for you to write on. I never been here, or even close to wherever this is we are right now, lost in a stream of raw emotions that wrap around our skin with a sickly sweet scent of a morning kiss whenever I wake up right next to you with your arms that cover me and protect me from the cold outside the window pane by the warmth that your skin brings to mine, with a sense of belonging that I didn't find with anyone else as of now before I met you.

So paint my world of miseries and sorrows with the colors of this irresistible love affair such that there is no place left for anyone else to fill in with any other shade other than this.

with our entwined destinies I saw how restless you were today, there was something you were hiding, an old wound probably opened when the past came rushing down? Or maybe just a mood swing?; the corner of your eyes shimmered as the sunlight fell on your face, I love it when you try to be strong in front of me, When all I am there for is for you to fall back on, You can put on that smile, make fun of yourself to raise a laugh, Put on more makeup to hide the tracks those tears left on your face, But I’ll always be able to read, More than what meets.

but feel the unusual there will always be that shine I would trace that nobody else would. You know why? Because many might have kissed your appearance, none of all would have come through that far as I did. I utterly felt your soul from the bottom. And I accepted it as it is. With no modifications to set within. It was love yet mesmerizing. Even if we track two different paths in life, we ll have that notion of comprehending each other, because back in life, we have had those moments worth a dime. Infact worth more than what you could name

P.S. If you have a blog, or you like to write, mail me here: itsvforme@gmail.com and I'll add it here, linking back to you.
P.P.S. I just realized the comment box here wont show up and i tried but couldn't fix it. Send in your post and your blog link on the chat box. :)

Friday, August 3

Day 3: Why did we meet, where we met?



I met a boy who asked me to
tell him who he was, and why
he was standing beneath the
afternoon sun, holding hands
with the girl a lot like me
in a place we did when,
he could be different to who he
was in any other place at all. 

I told him he was the shining star
of a moonless night, the warm sunshine
of a winter morning, the cool water
of a little crook when the sun shined 
high, that he was there, then
with me, because there wasn't a
place any better where he'd fit
with someone else

Thursday, August 2

Day 2: I wrote a song for you.


and it's a love song.

if we met, when we were little
the world could be seen
so much better


we'd hold hands when it rained
make paper boats 
that'd float in muddy rivers


we'd make sand castles
at the beaches
and think of our future


we'd make snow angels
when we'd have no school
during Christmas at December


we'd sit side by side
at the class passing messages
on torn papers


we'd buy some candies
at the fair
sit on rides together


but we are, here today
walking different places
writing letters to each other


someday if you find, this poem
in a box 
below the drafter


know that i'm still here
i haven't gone too far
in your smiles, in your laughter.

Wednesday, August 1

Day 1 : No insecurity

If you think things are always happening to you, then they are, like one day you happened to me. I began to see myself as wonderful and worthy of the love, I wanted and deserved. Love happens when you're not looking.

I remember when I was seventeen and in despair, I asked myself, "Why were you born?"
One day I went back to that little dreamer and hopeless romantic of seventeen and told her the reason; “To Love and be loved.”

I need to tell you that I have no ink, no paper but I write these hundred notes of you every day in my mind. One day I sat back down reopened the book and found the letters saying that if love was about possession then surely it was based on insecurity. With all the miles between us, and all the people around, there is a chance you or I might slip. And there are times I can't make my words reach out to you. Sometimes, you're just too far away. 

The thought of your heart beating right next to me and your love so intense and unconditional leaves me with absolutely no insecurity.


Love is helping the other to be free.

I Love you, Be free.