Thursday, November 29

Day 119: Lovers I Have Had & Liked.


Dear S,
You were the best mate a girl could have in her early teens. You were my best friend, my high school sweetheart, my best critique and my biggest supporter. You were the shoulder to cry on when I fought with my mom. You were the one to who I complained about all the drama the girls at school did. You were the one to who I came running to abusing the guy who kept stalking me while I returned from the tutions. I grew up and so did my wants. You were my first love; someone who I will always cherish. May you always get what you dream for.

Dear A,
Oh you crazy handsome senior ! You came to my life at a very wrong time, when I was already seeing my best friend. I always had something for you. I loved how you gave me a hundred names. You can't distinguish one love from the other. I know, I know people think it is wrong. Even I did. But now I know, it is perfectly alright to be in love with more than one person at the same time. It is very platonic. I remember how we used to talk for hours on phone aimlessly. When you asked me out, I was really confused but I had to choose him over you. I was never in love with you. I hope someday you would understand that. 

Dear A,
You were my first crush at college. I was absolutely crazy about you. It was a lot like my first crush. It had the same feeling of butterflies in the stomach, the daydreaming and the hours and stretches of pointlessly making up conversations in mind. Although, you being completely different, I used to totally digg you( well, I guess maybe that was the reason I did). Ah, the whole point of liking someone who doesn't like you back, or atleast didn't show. It was so much fun back then. Honestly, at one point of time I really liked you and wanted to be with you but I chose him over you. You know me, I'm so impulsive. I still have a lot to talk to you. I know you still think of me. I do too. Sometimes.

Dear A,
You loved me like a father loves his new born baby girl. We used to have so much fun together. You understood my baby talk and responded to the same. You always took care of me and used to get me everything I wanted. You were my second daddy and I loved you so. What we shared was really platonic and cute. I used to love our car rides and daily ice cream after classes. I loved your mommy, I still do. You and me could have had something, maybe. But, you were so possessive and insecure. I never liked it. I chose you over seven-fucking-billion people, why would I have gone with someone else. You always felt like you weren't good enough for me, maybe that is why I felt the same. I was always honest with you, even when I said that I have nothing left to give you. I was never really attracted to you. We don't talk but, I hope you have a good life.

Dear B,
Phew! You were a change in my life( B after so many As). Hahaha, jokes apart. "Oh, really is she seeing a junior?" , was the basic talk of the town. I thought that you were never my type, especially not someone to get involved with emotionally. I was just playing safe and having fun hanging out with you when you made it all serious. I didn't want any promises, because I knew one day I had to leave. You got me falling for you. I loved you. Truly. Madly. Deeply. I still tell everyone that you were the first man in my life- the first man to have ever been so close to me both emotionally and physically. I tried. I tried to save our relationship for a very long time. You gave me a lot to remember. Memories. You taught me to be more realistic, practical and confident. You were always an egoistic and a self-centered man. I pity any woman who has or will be a part of your life. You almost had me. You lucky man. Reality check darling; you can never be in love with anyone. I loved you. You loved you. No hard feelings. I hope you have a good life. Alone. You're welcome.



---to be continued

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