Day 162: Texts I'd Like to Receive From My Ex: Part I

The Random Texts After 2 am

He: "Are you happy?"

Me: "Is this a time to ask? Why do you care, anyway?"

He: "I thought you loved me. You obviously love yourself more."

Me: "I thought we were done. After I realized that you are an ignorant, egoistic, self-centered and selfish man whose world revolves around himself. "

*a gap of eleven minutes*

He: "You are such a bitch."

Me: "Oh, you have no idea."

Surprise texts in the afternoon

He: "I saw you today. You were in the B block, wearing a black top."

Me: "Oh, I did as well. You were in black too."

He: Haha, such a co-incidence.

He: "So what else?"

Me: "Whatelse?"

He: "Say something."

Me: "Say what? You texted me. You said what you had to. It's over."

He: "Yeah whatever, this was a mistake."

Me: "You're right. This WAS."

The after sex texts

He: "Hey, babe. I just had sex with the slut I chose to be with after you. It was one the worst sex experiences ever. I didn't even have an orgasm."

Me: "You obviously have degraded. You can never do better than me."

He: "I know babe, I know. Every time I moved inside her, I wished it was you. I want to feel your warmth again. I want to make love to you like we used to."

Me: "So, you want to fuck me again, after fucking with my feelings?"

He: "No, babe. I realize it was all my fault. I was such a fool to have ever let you down. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Let's make out and make up?"

Me: "Yes, I've been obsessing over you too. I miss you and I want you back in my life. I think about you all the time. I keep stalking your facebook to see if you are happy. I still have our picture as my cell phone wallpaper. I've not even had sex after we broke up. Just imagine."

He: "Aww. Really, babe?"

Me: "NO."

Me: "You wish. I have deleted all our pictures. I hate you and am glad we broke up. You're a horrible, self-centered and self-obsessed man. I pity the girl who is with you now. I've had one of the worst sexual experiences ever, with you. I would never have sex with you again, not even the rebound. I look so good without you. Why don't you go have a hand job in the shower? You love yourself, don't you!"

P.S. It's all made up; this is just an imaginary post of conversations. Please read the title again.


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