Day 162: Texts I'd Like to Receive From My Ex: Part I
The Random Texts After 2 am
He: "Are you happy?"
Me: "Is this a time to ask? Why do you care, anyway?"
He: "I thought you loved me. You obviously love yourself more."
Me: "I thought we were done. After I realized that you are an ignorant, egoistic, self-centered and selfish man whose world revolves around himself. "
*a gap of eleven minutes*
He: "You are such a bitch."
Me: "Oh, you have no idea."
Surprise texts in the afternoon
He: "I saw you today. You were in the B block, wearing a black top."
Me: "Oh, I did as well. You were in black too."
He: Haha, such a co-incidence.
He: "So what else?"
He: "Say something."
Me: "Say what? You texted me. You said what you had to. It's over."
He: "Yeah whatever, this was a mistake."
Me: "You're right. This WAS."
The after sex texts
He: "Hey, babe. I just had sex with the slut I chose to be with after you. It was one the worst sex experiences ever. I didn't even have an orgasm."
Me: "You obviously have degraded. You can never do better than me."
He: "I know babe, I know. Every time I moved inside her, I wished it was you. I want to feel your warmth again. I want to make love to you like we used to."
Me: "So, you want to fuck me again, after fucking with my feelings?"
He: "No, babe. I realize it was all my fault. I was such a fool to have ever let you down. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Let's make out and make up?"
Me: "Yes, I've been obsessing over you too. I miss you and I want you back in my life. I think about you all the time. I keep stalking your facebook to see if you are happy. I still have our picture as my cell phone wallpaper. I've not even had sex after we broke up. Just imagine."
He: "Aww. Really, babe?"
Me: "You wish. I have deleted all our pictures. I hate you and am glad we broke up. You're a horrible, self-centered and self-obsessed man. I pity the girl who is with you now. I've had one of the worst sexual experiences ever, with you. I would never have sex with you again, not even the rebound. I look so good without you. Why don't you go have a hand job in the shower? You love yourself, don't you!"
P.S. It's all made up; this is just an imaginary post of conversations. Please read the title again.