Day 198: Confessions #2 Something like love
Love is concentrated expression, often distorted, I told him. He listened vigilantly. He knew what I meant. The finest part about him was that he understood me. He understood me without even my explanation. How? I wondered. Maybe I was easy to comprehend and he was good at comprehending me. Maybe .
With our endless conversations through all possible means of communication, brought us close. It baffled me, How could anybody love someone so much in such a short period of time? Well time duration didn't matter much to him. He loved me and that was all there to it. I refused . I rejected the relationship. I rejected him. It did hurt him. A lot. I could tell. But he knew how to veil his emotions all too well .
It went on quite some time. Every time I said A big flat no to him, it oddly hurt me . Odd because I was the one who refused. How would it matter to me ? But it did. Why ? I wondered. Maybe because I liked him. Maybe. I disliked the whole design of a relationship. Irony. Unfortunately at that point of time, my outlook on relationship was stronger than the liking I had towards him .
He would a put up a smile just for me and pretend as though everything was normal. How could he conceal so flawlessly ? I wondered. Maybe because he knew it bothered me . And he could not bear the thought of it . Maybe.
And it happened. He kissed. I kissed him back. It all happened so fast . If you see it in a way, it was wrong. But it didn't feel wrong. When his lips met mine. It was beyond perfect. It was a kind of a moment where you know it was meant to be. And ecstasy that came with it made it even more overwhelming . My reactions spoke otherwise. I fidgeted. A part of me was restless for what I just did but the other part of me loved every bit of it . I loved the way his hands came around me just the right way .I loved it when he pushed my hair back every time we kissed . The way he kissed said it all. It was gentle filled with love . Or so I interpreted. There was a rainbow of emotions . And for once, I stopped thinking so much . And let go It took me quite some time to accept the fact that I loved him. Not an infatuation. My feelings for him overpowered my stance on relationships. He changed my perspective with sheer love. My “Mind –over- matter” principle didn't really matter any longer. I let go of all my stupid presumptions and it felt good. I accepted him.
Every now and then in life, even after you’re hurt by your past, few things are worth the risk .I knew his contentment came through me. And mine came through him. I could read him and well, he was a genius in reading me. It was a beautiful interlink that we shared. Even now, every time I close my eyes. I think about him . It ranges from living in a big stunning house by the ocean and on top of a beautiful valley to the smallest details of his body.I know I’m fanatical. I can’t help it .They say it’s unhealthy to be obsessed so much . I don’t know much .
^ This is something I wrote for my boyfriend :)
"He broke up with me few weeks ago because he said it won't work out for in the long run . Absurd right ? Maybe ? Well we're only in our teens .
I'm not going to ask you what to do because and the end of the it's my choice to be happy , right ?
All I want to do is eat chocolate buy a pet hamster and name it hamster .
Even though we've never met , even though I might not play a role in your life all I can say is you have inspired me to such a degree where I'm actually capable of living happily without him .
For that Thankyou . Stay amazing . Oh waaaait wo toh aap already ho :D
Kisssssy time :P :* To a stranger from a stranger."
One of the most wonderful mails I've received in a while.
This mail made me extremely happy. I'm so glad that you feel this way about me sweet stranger. I'm so glad I could make your life a little better, a little easier. P.S. If you too have a secret to share, or if you want the world to know how you feel, mail me on firstname.lastname@example.org. I am sure we can work it out.