Day 212: 4 Reasons Why Being In A Relationship In Your 20s Is Difficult
1. No more casual flirting, no more sleeping around
You love your boyfriend/ girlfriend but no you can't see other people or hit on the cute girl at your office or go out with your hot boss. You start dating someone thinking that they are the only people you would want to sleep with for the rest of your life, wait not sleep with but be with maybe. Your friends tell you, "Umm, hey is she the one you'd compromise for, on your sleeping around with the other hot chicks? And you are like, "Yeah bro, she is the one. She's got sparks. She is the prettiest woman that I've ever met." So, your friends look at you with pointlessly blank faces. One fine evening when you come to see your BFF after meeting your boyfriend and she tells you, "Hey, I bet you can do better. Since when have you become so mushy and romantic? There is plenty of fish in the sea. Richer and hotter." Makes you think, well at least for a while. You go to this club every Friday, where you have this extremely attractive guy and your eyes lock every time you turn your heads. You know he is into you and so are you. You love your boyfriend but for a while you wish there was someone else, someone new, someone who makes you feel special and sexy.
2. People fucking change
When you grow out of your teens and become twenty, you change right. Well to me, twenty never made a major difference. I was still the impulsive girl from high school. What did change was my progress in the twenties. I'm 22 now, and believe me I am nothing like what I was when I was 20. If I met the me two years back, I'd her to go home and study. I was more fun, less sensible, I got whoever I liked, smoked pot and partied. Then my needs changed, especially with my partners. I wanted what I didn't have: Security, Commitment and Understanding. I'd get it and fuck it all up. My life today doesn't resemble that in the slightest. Who I would've fallen in love with at the age of 20 is not the same person as today. Now, my wants have changed. I want freedom and consistency and peace. It's difficult as there is no one to blame but time. It changes everything, including people who are in love with you. Their demands change and you are weighing whose to fulfill, your's or their's. You're at the prim of your youth and it's difficult maintaining a relationship because your priorities and thought pattern changes. How could you possibly be in love with one person for so long, when you can't even like a gorgeous dress for long?
3. Someone is more important to you, than yourself
You want to go wear that sexy little LBD you got for the girls' night out you and your besties planned. Guess what your boyfriend seems a little insecure with you around other men in that dress. Oh, well poor dress is thrown into the slumbers. You're bored with the city and the people around you. You want to meet new people and fucking move out for a while, go disappear, have a holiday in the wild. But seemingly, your partner would be left behind then. They still love the place and you are not ready for a long distance relationship right now. Well, what the hell ! You're in your 20s and it is possibly the best time ever in your life, time when you can be foolish and act like your mistake was an immature decision, yet it won't look bad because you're a grown up. You'll move on. So, you need to stop that resentment and do whatever the hell you want to.
4. Career or Love: The choice is yours
You know you are dating someone and it's serious now. But, you have a career option in front you which you simply can't neglect. So, what then? Drop the post grad school you opted for and got selected, just to maintain your relationship with your partner? Leave a promotion behind or stop switching your current job with a new job opportunity which is bigger or better, because it possibly might pull you both apart and break your ties. Well the choice is yours, since your career isn't going to wake up one day and say it doesn't love you anymore.
I kind of read a similar post on TC a few days back, and this was in my drafts from more than week. So, I was like, 'Hey, I'm right. People in 20s do find it difficult to maintain a relationship." Next post: Why it's easy being in a relationship in 20s.