Day 224: What Scares Me, Is The Thought Of Being Alone.
You are scared.
You are alone.
Now, you're scared.
You're in a huge hall filled with millions of people, thousands of faces, hundreds of voices; some are familiar, some completely new and you're in between all of them, suffocating, rushing past everyone, looking for someone; someone you don't know. You don't even know who to call and who to ask for. It's like you're silent. You're screaming and no one can hear. You're scared, suffocated and anxious. You are almost crying and you don't know what to do. You've lost all hopes. You don't want to be alone. You stop somewhere. You feel a familiar touch right behind you. You're happy. You feel secure. It's amazing. It's warm. You want to cling on to it, like a little baby holds on to it's mother's breast. Suddenly, you don't like it anymore. You're no more comfortable. It's no more good. You want to go away, as far as possible, from that touch, from that feeling. You're running. It's following you. You run faster and faster until you're exhausted and broken. You want to shout. You wan't to cry. You've left it behind, but it has taken a part of you with it. Now that it's gone, you wish you could have it back, all of it; all the bad so that you can have all the good. You're all alone. You want someone, anyone in that case. You just don't want to be lonely. You don't want to be alone.